What is Domestic Violence?
Domestic Violence (DV) is a pattern of behavior used to establish power and control over another person through fear and intimidation. DV can be physical, sexual, verbal, economic or emotional abuse.
What are patterns/signs people should be on the lookout for?
Domestic violence is a repetitive action of abusive behavior that can happen to anyone in the talking stage, dating stage, and even during marriage when the other person wants to control everything the person does from who they talk to, who they see, what they see, wear, eat, and even making them stop talking to family members by using physical, verbal, or sexual abuse.
Identifying Signs:
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- Relationship red flags— early signs
- Starting a relationship off too fast
- Not being able to be away from partner too long
- False accusations of cheating
- Isolation
- Jealousy
- Dictating how the victim dresses
- Threats to destroy or kill property, family members and friends
- Controlling where they go, who they talk to and who they see
- Financial control
- Stalking the victim: in person, via social media and phone
- Physical marks/ wearing long sleeves in the summer
- Explanations for physical marks on their bodies do not line up with injuries
- Seeking DV services for “a friend” or not wanting to talk about DV
- Having a curfew and checking the time because of their partner
- Hypervigilance
- Gaslighting
- Receiving threats
- Relationship red flags— early signs
Q: When Did You Realize You Were in a DV Situation? / How Did You Leave?
Our DVSS team asked clients to share their response to these two questions on a “Jam board”. Here are their courageous responses below.
There is incredible strength in DV Survivors. Many of them are breaking generational cycles of abuse and forming new family patterns, are developing a positive outlook of the future despite everything they went through, learning to find their voice again and becoming advocates for themselves and others, and uplifting other survivors/encouraging others to seek help and support.
Expect Respect Teen Workshops
What is Expect Respect?
- Expect Respect is a safe space for teenagers to learn about setting boundaries, building and maintaining healthy relationships, and communication skills,. Teens often share they look forward to joining the group every week and see it as a form of self-care. This is a safe space for participants to learn about unhealthy boundaries and various strategies to respond to these patterns. Teens have often grown relationships with their peers outside of the group and beyond the sessions to maintain supporting one another.
Upcoming Workshops (Wednesdays 5-6 PM):
- 10/19/22 – Trick or Triggers – Teen Intimate Partner Violence Awareness
- 11/9/22 – Grow, Glow, Gobble – Mindful Reflection
- 12/14/22 – New Year, New Me – Goal Setting
Past Sessions Have Included:
- Discussions of
- Relationship red flags
- Boundary setting
- What you are comfortable with in relationships
- Identification of safe individuals to turn to for support
- Listening and reflecting together
- Encouragement from DV survivors
For more information, contact:
- Evelyn Leon
- (323)801-6644
- eleon@paralosninos.org
- Ema Herrera
- (213)814-1550 Ext 717
- eherrera@paralosninos.org
We asked three of our case managers with thirteen years of experience amongst them to share their observations on how DV’s impact on families and common barriers that survivors face.
Q: How have you seen how DV affects families, particularly children?
A: DV spreads fear that can isolate survivors. For instance, many of my clients do not not feel comfortable being forthright about their DV situation because they are afraid that the Department of Family and Children Services (DCFS) will remove their children. Many of them often say they want DV resources for a friend out of shame and fear.
DV deeply affects children. It creates an environment that does not feel safe and prevents routines from being formed. As a result, children are at higher risk for malnourishment, lack of clothing and material items, and emotional abuse, like gaslighting–imposing what is the abusive caretaker’s fault as their own.
DV stunts children from growing into their fullest potential by blinding them from seeing how the world should be. DV also impacts their education as it is hard to focus at school when life at home is traumatic.
Q: What are common barriers DV survivors often have that prevents them from moving forward?
A: There are many:
- Emotional Block – the abuse can convince survivors that they do not deserve or can do better
- Immigration status
- Financial hardships or economic reliance on partner’s income, having limited job skills
- Shame of what their family will say
- The fear of losing their children to the system
- Housing instability
- Language barriers, (eg – being only Spanish speakers or learning English in ESL)
- Safety concerns (eg -from stalking, harassment, etc.)
- Having mental/physical disabilit(ies)
- Lack of transportation
- Lack of social support
- Fear of legal issues
